I am a fan of wearing pins with blazers. In the words of the movie Office Space, they are my “flair,” though not mandatory. Each pin has its own saying– sometimes quirky, other times thought-provoking. One of the first pins I ever wore simply said, “empowered women, empower women.”
In many ways, this is a nice thought– that I would pour into others because I have been poured into myself. But for too many women in ministry, this is simply not the case. I have heard stories of women not championing each other but speaking ill of one another to the point of harm. In some cases, these words come from the pew, either from differing theology that believes that women do not have a place in the pulpit or from feelings associated with the fact that they grew up in a time before the regularity of women’s ordination. Other times, the backlash comes from within, as women buy into the lie that there is a scarcity of places for ordained women in the church, thereby making us into competitors rather than collaborators.
I have to confess, while I have experienced a bit of both behavior from women in pews and pulpits , it is not the majority of my story. I grew up in the United Methodist church, and when I responded to a call to ministry, I was blessed to be assigned a strong female clergy mentor, who walked with me through years of becoming a candidate for ministry, all the way to ordination. She was with me through a time of profound doubt in seminary and during my first parish appointment with all of its ups and downs. She helped me give voice to speak my truth when the ordination board couldn’t understand my context. She championed me. There is a picture on my coffee table of her hugging me at my ordination, both of us with the biggest smiles. Because empowered women, empowered women.
A few years later, a friend and I caused a bit of a scandal at my friend’s ordination service. The tradition, at the time, was for your mentor to place your red stole on you during the ordination service. However, she didn’t have the same experience as I did. She had been with several different mentors over the years, and the one at the time of her ordination, she did not know well. So she whispered, “Will you put my stole on?” I immediately said ‘yes’. Knowing that wasn’t the tradition. Knowing that people would complain (which they did). But I wanted to show up for her– because empowered women, empower women.
But the truth is, it wasn’t just my mentor who empowered me on this journey. There was Mrs. Stevenson, who, in my first church, where I had no idea what I was doing, boldly told me that I would one day serve in a particular church and become a superintendent. I don’t think she would be surprised to know that I now hold one of the positions she foresaw for a young twenty-three-year-old clergywoman. Because she knew that empowered women empower women.
There were two deans and a chaplain at the seminary who helped me see that the statements of one professor did not reflect my call or my body of work. There was the campus chaplain, who allowed me to enter her space and help with campus ministry for the first time as a brand-new seminary graduate. There were the women who called me into the ministry of spiritual direction and then the supervision of spiritual directors. There is the soul-community of fellow female clergy who lift my spirits and call me out when I need it. I have had this constant presence of empowered women who empower women.
Because that has been my reality, I naturally see empowerment as a gift of abundance to be shared. I was speaking with a friend lately who noted that I like to give other people opportunities– to teach, to lead workshops, to have their ministries highlighted– whenever I can. I want to be like my mentor, who showed up in the thick of it all to show me there was a different way. I mentor clergywomen beyond my denomination so people can experience what it means to be empowered by love. I offer myself to consult with other women clergy, spiritual directors, and supervisors because I want to give back what has been given to me. That doesn’t mean that I always get it right, but it does mean that that pin is more than a cute accessory on my lapel– it’s a call to a way of being.
The first time I wore that pin was to a dinner celebrating the only other person in my ordination class. She had been working for over a year on a leadership program in the county, and she wanted me to be part of it. The program turned out not to be the right fit for me, but that night I was there just to celebrate her. Not to compare or dream about what I could do or to compete with her in any way but simply to be a person in her corner, cheering her on.
As we are in the season of celebrating ordinations, I truly believe we are called to continue being the people who empower. Who shares opportunities. Who are the places of community and connection, of celebration and consultation. Because the reality is that we need to be the people who show that another way is possible, to live into empowered women, empowering women.
Thank you for these encouraging words and sharing your story!